When we started out on our adoption journey, I had no idea how steep the up-hill climb would be to have our little family united. I didn't anticipate my tumble down the hill like Jack and Jill into a depression once we brought Wee Man home.
We had no clue an anticipated 6 month referral wait would turn into 22 months nor did we think it would take 18 months of constant emails, phone calls, tears, yelling, sadness, hope lost, hope gained, and more tears to bring our son home.
Our decision to adopt came because we wanted to have a family. It didn't matter to us how our family came to be. We didn't realize at the time how much our lives would change, how much we change, how different things we would be.
We took a breath in and took the step forward to make our dream come true. We just didn't know how long we would have to hold that breath.
If you followed along with our previous blog you know the ups and downs we went through. You will know I have the strongest husband in the entire world who held me up when I thought I couldn't go on one more step.
You will know the joy when we first met Wee Man and how
Parenting humbled me.
You think I would have breathed out after all we have been through. Still, I couldn't. There was always the fear someone might take Wee Man away. Even though the adoption order was signed and we were legally his parents, in the back of my mind I thought it might still fall apart.
It was an irrational fear for sure but a fear nonetheless. When we found out his Citizenship was granted and the certificate was in the mail, I allowed myself to think about letting a long sigh out. Instead a letter came saying they wanted a have a "quality assurance" meeting with us. I held that breath in even tighter. Knowing logically it was just a formality there was still the nagging "What if find something they don't like and take him away" lingering in my heart.
Friday, my fear he might be made to go back to Ethiopia melted away. The moment we had his Canadian Citizenship in our hands, I knew he was here to stay.
I finally exhaled the the long-awaited breath I had been holding in which felt exhilarating and brought me to tears.